Raging with Three Billboards

                                                                Frances McDormand in “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.”Fox Searchlight Pictures

I rather belatedly saw the front-runner for Best Picture of this year’s Academy Awards, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. When the film first came out, I heard mixed responses, and put off seeing it. I did find it curious that it seemed to have staying power that other films weren’t having, even without special effects and explosions. Immediately after seeing the film I liked it more than I thought I would. Even more interesting is that I keep thinking about it. I’ve seen all the other best picture nominees this year, and while I enjoyed them all, this one I think will last with me the longest.

On the surface, the film seems simple – a mother has had her young daughter raped and killed, but no one has been arrested. She can’t get answers, so out of frustration she rents billboards reminding the community of what happened and asking the sheriff why no one’s been arrested. Instead of rallying around a grieving mother, the whole town tries to silence her, yet she won’t back down.

I don’t have children and have fortunately not been sexually assaulted, but the film stays with me. Granted Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell, and the rest of the cast are amazing. I’ve admired Martin McDonagh’s writing for years, but that’s not it. I think, knowingly or not, McDonagh tapped into a deep-seated rage from women that’s been waiting to get out for a long time.

It’s not surprising that protesters have mimicked the billboards visual finger-pointing approach against various politicians, both in the U.S. and abroad. I still think the staying power has more to do with the concept of a woman alone going against a system that’s failed her, with no one who wants to listen to her. Timing is everything, and there could be no better film than this one for the #MeToo movement. In some ways the fact that McDormand’s character wasn’t the victim herself of assault or harassment makes it all the more powerful, and all the more likely to get under your skin.

I think most women know this situation all too well. When the #MeToo activity starting exploding, my husband asked me one night if I’d ever experienced anything like what was coming out in the media. At the time I felt both lucky and guilty to say that I hadn’t. My shyness, and at times awkwardness, along with way too much time spent pining over unavailable men, had kept me safely at home more nights than I’d probably care to admit. Most places I’d worked at had been toxic on some level, and while I’d witnessed inappropriate situations over the years, I’d been spared that added level of horror to deal with.

However this film did remind me of all the times as an employee in my early years in non-profits, which always were headed up by men, but full of competitive female employees, where I ultimately felt dismissed, powerless, and emotionally traumatized by male superiors. In neither case were they of a sexual nature, but in both places there was no one to report the situations to who could or would help. There were some powers-that-be from the organizations who knew of problems with these men, but weren’t ready to take action. So, yes, I do understand what Frances McDormand’s character felt like when she decided that she’d had enough and wasn’t going to let them shut her up. I just wish I’d been as brave as she was rather than just moving on to another workplace.

My story isn’t any different or even close to being as harrowing as many of the other #MeToo disclosures. What it shows is that we’ve been living in a society where men are listened to, believed and valued, while women aren’t. Most of us have figured a way to navigate and get on with our lives, but haven’t challenged the system for fear of what it might do to us. That’s caused a whole lot of resentment to build up.

A number of people keep asking why now for the #MeToo movement to explode and take down so many powerful men. It doesn’t take a lot of thinking to realize that this all began after Trump took office. I cried myself to sleep the night of the election, fearing what he and Pence would do to my rights as a woman once in office. Just like with the stages of grief, women seemed to have gotten past the shock and are moving on to anger and reconstruction. A podcast I recently heard called it “horizontal action.” So far the sexual allegations against Trump haven’t done any good, so women are finding legitimate targets that can be accessed, and taking action.

We women have been shut up for far too long. It’s time we raged for a while.