I’ve always had allergies and fairly
sensitive skin, including occasional rashes and hives, but for the most part
(except during my teenage years) my skin has been fair, clear, and smooth. When
I look back at my diet and other habits over the years, I know I didn’t always
deserve that clearness and smoothness, which probably made me very unprepared
for what has happened – Rosacea.
Over the last several years I’d noticed some
flushing in my cheeks, along with some exposed capillaries on one side. I kept
putting off for a long time seeing a dermatologist. These symptoms went away early
last year when I was being treated for a GI disorder that required antibiotics,
but then slowly came back as the medication left my system.
Finally, late last year I made an
appointment with the dermatologist. Before the appointment, I’d developed what
I thought was an allergic reaction that caused a rash around my eyes, which I
didn’t bring up, and he didn’t note. I did mention the cheeks, which he said
was rosacea, and prescribed a cream. The cream helped slightly, but the rash
around my eyes got worse and made me wonder if that was also due to the
rosacea. I ended up spending most of November at the eye doctor, as the red
spots around my eyes were, according to the doctor, also on my eyes.
There was some improvement, but then it
worsened after Thanksgiving, making me go back to the dermatologist who
diagnosed it as perioral dermatitis. He said he typical saw it in fall and
winter, and was usually due to cold windy weather. It seemed to make sense, as
I’d developed a walking/jogging program last year, finishing several 5K races
and a 10K, and was trying to still do one long walk a week even with the cold
weather (I guess that cold Thanksgiving 10K was not the best idea). The doctor
recommended limiting my exposure, which was disappointing, and prescribed an
antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory cream.
I moved my cardio back to the gym, and
(gulp) added a few days a week of mall walking. My crazy mind briefly thought
of trying a ski mask, but then I thought I’d probably get confused for a
criminal, so tossed that aside. There was some slight improvement, but then I
developed a reaction to the antibiotic and had to get a steroid shot at urgent
care. Due to my other allergies to antibiotics, there was nothing else he could
prescribe; telling me it will just take longer.
For a while there was still more improvement
even without the medication, making me think it was environmentally caused, but
then it started creeping back, and then came the true horror – rosacea acne.
Nothing can prepare you for this. There were a few white heads that popped up,
which I wondered if it could be the skin cleanser the doctor recommended I
switch to. I went back to my old cleanser, but no change. Then came the
explosion. These pimples are hard, making my chin feel like I was wearing a
plastic prosthetic.
Needless to say I became depressed and
distraught, lessening my exposure to others. The makeup covered some of it, but
it still showed something was going on. My dental office thought I’d broken out
into hives.
I’d been working with a dietician, as many
of the books I checked out of the library mentioned a GI connection with this
inflammatory disease, and I suspected that what I was treated for last year might
still be affecting my body. I added various supplements and probiotics, in a
not very slow and steady way, before the acne explosion occurred, making me
wonder if these additions were the cause. After removing them for a week, there
isn’t a real improvement, so it’s obviously something else. I tried various
home remedies I read about on the web, to no help. Finally I moved up my
dermatologist follow up to the middle of last week.
My doctor was ill, so I saw another
physician. She was a good listener, but it was clear that due to my allergies
she was limited as to what she could offer. She even told me that stress plays
a role, which made me want to laugh at her, since how could a 50-year-old woman
who’s face looks like the caricature of the worst acne laden teenager not be
stressed? I’d been frustrated not being able to get work after going back to
school late in life, assuming it was due to my age and sex (I still think that,
and my lack of networking skills), but obviously looking like a teenager would
not help my situation.
Ultimately the physician prescribed an acid
treatment that’s supposed to help with acne, and then remembered a brand new
topical antibiotic treatment that she wouldn’t feel comfortable giving me
orally, but was willing to take a chance topically. I was equally willing,
begging for drugs, which if I was in a sane state of mind I would never do.
Then came the frustration of actually
acquiring both medications. She wanted to send the scripts to a specialty dermatology
pharmacy, which had told me last year when the other dermatologist had sent the
initial cream there, that I was out of network, and they’d have to send the
prescription to another pharmacy. This made no sense to her, but she sent it to
my usual pharmacy, telling me to call if the co-pay was high. The co-pay for
the acid was exorbitant, and the antibiotic was not covered by my insurance, as
it was so new to the market. The pharmacist found a coupon making it just
expensive, but his distributor claimed it wasn’t available and had no date for
when it would be made available.
I called the dermatologists office and left
the message of what was going on. I then received a call later from the
physician’s rude assistant saying “told you so.” She then said she’d call in
the prescriptions to the specialty pharmacy, who’s pharmacist said once again that
I was out of network and they’d have to transfer my prescriptions. Told you so,
indeed.
Anyway, I talked them through the situation,
and they were able to get me the acid for $100 less than my pharmacy, even
without insurance, bringing it down to just expensive, but they couldn’t sell
me the antibiotic, even though my insurance wouldn’t cover it and they were the
only place in town that actually had the stuff in stock. Apparently to get the
coupon to activate, you have to go through the patient’s insurance first; if
the insurance declines it, that’s when you can apply the coupon. Since I was
out of network, he said he couldn’t run my insurance. When I called my pharmacy
back to let then know what was going on, it was what at the time seemed like a
miracle – the topical antibiotic became available. He snatched it, applied the
coupon, and it arrived Thursday.
I picked up both topical medications early
Thursday and began using – the antibiotic in the morning after washing my face
and then the acid in the evening after washing my face. I was a bit taken aback
by the antibiotic ointment, which was a bright yellow foam with all kinds of
warning about how flammable it was (you can’t even smoke after it’s been
applied; I don’t smoke, but still, that’s a bit scary). I noticed some
itchiness, but it was tolerable. I did the acid that evening and when I woke up
Friday my skin looked slightly sunburned. If I would have been in a reasonable
state of mind I would have stopped treatment, but that’s not where I was. I
continued on Friday, emailing the office about the burn, but not getting a
response back. The itchiness continued off an on, but was still tolerable. When
I woke up Saturday morning, my eye lids were droopy, which they aren’t
normally, the right side of my face felt numb (I don’t sleep on my right side),
and it looked like I’d had the worst sunburn of my life without going to the
beach.
It seemed clear that the acid was a bad
idea, but I still thought the antibiotic might be okay, so applied, what would
be the last dose of it. The itchiness by early evening had become what looked
like hives, so I took Benadryl, washed my face, and applied the
anti-inflammatory cream I still had left. Before going to bed I changed my pillowcase,
hoping to wake up and have it better. Instead, my eyes were completely swelled
shut and the inflammation and burning in my face was intolerable. Nothing
helped. Urgent care here we come.
I was hoping that on Super Bowl Sunday that
people would be at home preparing for the game, but instead everyone in town
was sick. The nurses and physician assistants were all wearing masks like they
were expecting everyone in the Westside to be carrying the plague. Ultimately I
received my second steroid shot in two months for an extreme allergic reaction
and was told not to continue with any of the topical stuff. The dermatologist
agreed with that today.
It’s clear I need to find another path, as
the medical one has never really worked well for my body. Sadly the
dermatologist said some people never find their trigger, yet if I can’t take
the medications then I really need to. I can’t keep going to urgent care and
getting steroids, nor do I want to become a complete shut-in, even though I do
prefer being home than anywhere else. I’m looking at other options, wondering how many more foods/drinks to exclude, and trying
to keep my anxiety level down, which is even harder with what’s going on in
this country right now. In some ways it seems an appropriate thing to have happen to
me during the Trump administration (or the Trump dictatorship, as it appears to
be at the moment). Who isn’t inflamed right now? I guess I need to try to go against the
tide with this movement.